Watch me not care

Okay, let me explain this in the simplest possible way...you...are...an...idiot.

Wow. When you do that with your arms, it creates the illusion that you're thinking.

there's those CAPS again

I wish, I wish, I wish I had a spine.

Do you see this thimble? I keep my morale in it.

Asok the Intern: "I have a question about this document marked "Proprietary". If I spent my whole life searching, do you think I would find anyone who would care about it?"

Dilbert [in his cubicle]: I ask for so little. [Pause] And boy do I get it.

Catbert, Evil Director of Human Resources [Talking to Pointy-Haired Boss]: "You don't need to reward employees. Just torture them less. It will feel the same as a reward."

Pointy-Haired Boss [to Tina]: "Tina, we need a few minor edits on our product brochure. We've discovered our product causes hallucinations and sterility. See if you can put a positive spin on that."